Whats in Your Relationship: 12 Signs to Check Off
They say the new year brings with it a chance at a fresh start. The opportunity to press the ‘Refresh’ button, hopefully after one has pressed the ‘Re-evaluate’ (also known as the ‘wtf-was-I-thinking‘) button. Many of you began this year with the resolute resolution to stop procrastinating. I obviously missed the boat on that one, as here I am writing the expected “new year” post in March (oh well). Others began the year with thoughts of taking a relationship to the inevitable next step. In moving through these ‘inevitable next steps’, couples tend to see themselves as reflections or projections of what they wish to see. Rarely do they question the status quo of their relationships and instead plod along year after year, checking off each milestone/step till they are all tangled up, bound by the laws of matrimony with 2.5 kids in tow.
What we think we know about relationships is usually from learned behaviour. We may not realize that what we’ve defined for ourselves as ‘normal’ over the years (our parents’ 35 year marriage or Bella and Edward’s saga) is in fact the epitome of dysfunction. As important as it is to know that healthy relationships are not always made of “perfect”, always smiling always happy couples, it’s also essential to be real.
Now I really don’t mean to be a negative-nancy (esp. this early in the year), but I do genuinely believe that there are way too many mediocre things in life that love and/or relationships should not be one of them. So, to that end, here is my short (and sweet) list of signs of a healthy relationship. If this list makes you stop and think about your own relationship then maybe it’s time to blame it on the new year, stop procrastinating and hit Refresh.
- You can be yourselves with each other and don’t have to fake it (in life or in bed).
- You feel comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts, fears, and emotions with each other.
- You rarely lie to each other, but you also refrain from being brutally honest.
- You give each other space and respect each other’s privacy.
- You make it through rough times as a couple without splitting up.
- You openly discuss financial matters.
- You treat each other the way you would like to be treated, not necessarily the way you feel you’re being treated at the moment.
- You willingly make sacrifices for each other.
- You have a strong friendship and enjoy each others company.
- You enjoy physical contact (hugs, kisses, cuddling, sex) together.
- You forgive each other.
- In addition to loving each other, you genuinely like each other.