The Awkward Bride ~ Published in Suhaag Magazine!
So not only am I published in Suhaag but my article is featured on the cover!!! But rather than gush about it im going to try and act cool and share the first of my three articles in the latest issue of Suhaag Magazine! :)
The Awkward Bride
Your wedding will be the time of your life. Dressed to the hilt, bejewelled from head to toe, you will feel like royalty.
Not a person in sight will be able to take their eyes off you. You will be the belle of the ball. You will be the bride!
Except what if you’re not that bride? You’re not the girl who grew up fantasizing about the day you’ll walk down the proverbial aisle. What if you suddenly realize that you’re not comfortable having all eyes on you? And rather than the all encompassing glow that you’re supposed to feel, all you feel is extremely awkward!
I didn’t glide through the days leading up to my wedding, but rather stumbled across them kind of inelegantly. Sitting at the salon after the designers, stylists, jewellers and makeup artists had worked their magic on me, I felt more like a piece ready to be showcased at the museum than a bride “in her element”. Most brides I knew had revelled in all the attention that was given to them. They had told me it would be wonderful. I saw them sashay gracefully through, pausing only to soak up the limelight and graciously smile and wave at their adoring fans. For me it didn’t feel so much a glamorous spotlight as it did an uncomfortable glare that made me squint while random strangers stared, or rather gawked at me. Yes, it was very awkward.
Now lets get one thing straight; I’m no shrinking violet. Far from it in fact. I’m the girl you can hear laughing across a crowded room. Nor am I a stranger to my fair share of the limelight. However, things were different this time. One of the glaring differences being that up until my wedding the limelight had been a result of an achievement that drew attention to my capabilities. And sitting pretty, with an unnatural amount of makeup on face, surrounded by an unnatural number of flowers on a stage was definitely not one of them.
The pressure that goes along with being a bride doesn’t make the situation any easier. You’ve seen brides before you, your friends, your cousins, your acquaintances or rather your acquaintances’ wedding pictures on Facebook. You’ve sat back comfortably and critically analyzed the bride that should not have worn that outfit with those arms, and definitely not that color on that skin tone. And now that it’s your turn on the same sadistic pedestal, God help you, you will not make the same mistakes they did! Except that you don’t have the same arms or face structure or the same skin tone as any of those other brides, so how will you know what suits you?
It’s one thing picking out your daily outfits and even that special occasion couture; you know how much makeup you can pull off in the daytime and you know how to accessorize some life into those blah work outfits. After all you’ve been doing it for years. This, however, is very different from what you’re used to. This, my friends, is not just an entirely different story; it’s an entirely different language. Now, unless you’re a fashion/makeup/style guru or you have planned out this day to the very last detail since you were 5 years old (which as I mentioned before I hadn’t), you are now officially in no man’s land. And the worst part about being a bride is that no matter what, EVERYONE will tell you that you look beautiful.
So coming back to the day of my wedding, as I sat in my gorgeous shaadi ka jora, with more makeup on my face than I had ever had before (even for Halloween), I looked at the girl in the mirror and had no idea who I was looking at. This was my wedding and I was the bride. Where was the glow and the realization that today I was the most beautiful girl in the world? I had seen the Bollywood and the Hollywood films. The chickflicks as well as the chicklits had all confirmed that I would feel it right about now. But I didn’t. To be honest, I felt a little ridiculous and a whole lot self-conscious, so at that point I decided that I would smile, wave and fake it!
As I walked down the aisle towards the giant stage with the overwhelming number of flowers, and more importantly towards my husband-to-be, I wondered what he thought of my get-up. This definitely wasn’t the girl he had proposed to. But fortunately, he had been feeling just as awkward as me and was simply thrilled to have me by his side, to face the rest of our wedding together, in awkward harmony.